the festival left everybody bored
the grounds were small, they'd all been explored
when like a bush set burning by the lord
there came a handsome boy with a couple of pretty chords
it was the finest song they say they ever saw
and it was t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tommy two chord!

for all he's known, he's known best for this quirk
for all his work, he's never done much work
he just stands there suavely sweating through his shirt
while the sun shines high behind this city's murk
he knows no consequence, he keeps no law
he's just t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tommy two chord!

a wanderer, a poet with no poem
scraping planet earth with a stolen comb
to find a girl to charm back to his home
and once he's got her there, he's gone again to roam
but she'll remain, his floor swept with her jaw
singin' t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tommy two chord!

he met one on her knees. she seemed... alright
she was like that before he met her most of last night
neither made a move, but neither put up a fight
and they fell together, two snowflakes in flight
don't ask her how her knees have got so raw
you know it's t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tommy two chord!

O LOVER! you say now it appears
you have found the cure for all your made up fears
so you remove yourself from me, you change your gears
to bless his flaking image with your ears
but you deserve a man who cannot sing a flaw
a real man like t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tommy two chord!

he took my mandolin, he took my song
and he wasn't as good but they listened twice as long
but half the world swears half the world is wrong
and who prefers the honest to the strong?
who wants to hear those ice caps thaw?
not while we've got t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tommy two chord!

he taught me: just two chords make the world get wet
he taught me: pretend like you don't care and the world gets wet
he taught me: don't sing about the rain and the world gets wet
he taught me: leave before they're bored and the world stays wet
all stutter in infatuated awe
for t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tommy two chord!

o i wish i could be like him! i won't lie
i'm a cryptic, apocalyptic kind of guy
but sunshine on the swamp just makes it dry -
i mean, i'll never ease her pain! i just make her cry
so i give up! i'll join the great hurrah
for t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tommy two chord!